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Tagged – 7 Deadly Sins – Lie To Me

May 29, 2009

Amuirin tagged me with this meme that has been making the rounds. Most of the folks I would tag have already done it (with some pretty amusing results) so I won’t tag anyone – but I’m happy to play along.

Here is how it usually works though just in case you want to pick up the meme: Respond to each question about the 7 deadly sins by lying to me….. then tag 7 others.

Pride
What is your biggest contribution to the world?

Remember when drum solos were all the rage at rock concerts? Yup, I don’t normally brag on that but for once I’ll own up to it. The reason for them…. I came to realize that during long concerts there was a need for a break where all the guys could get into the groove and their dates could count on a good 10 minutes for a quick pee, a smoke and to brush their long tresses without missing their favourite song. No harm, no foul. Once I’d done it at a few shows I didn’t have a hard time convincing other drummers because everyone wants their moment in the sun. Now, bass solos are another matter entirely and I refuse to accept any responsibility for them whatsoever, amen.

Oh, what do you call a guy who likes to hang out with groups of musicians??  Answer: A drummer….. (Rimshot)

Envy
What do your coworkers have that you wish was yours?

Well, George’s Rolls Royce is pretty damned fine. Oops, shit! I was supposed to be lying, wasn’t I? I’m lying, honestly. I am.

Gluttony
What did you eat last night?

A piece of sky…. that bit next to where Venus rises each morning. You’ll notice a couple of small stars are missing if you look closely.

Lust
What really lights your fire?

Full contact, free-style ballroom dancing. A small audience, big dance floor, a spotlight following, judges…..

Anger
What is the last thing that really pissed you off?

A street performing mime who wouldn’t get out of my way until I threw some money in his jar. I hope there was no video set-up there – it could be used as evidence if it ever comes to trial. The stunned look on his face was worth the $2 and aggravation though. Faked him right out of his make-up.

Greed
Name something you hoard and keep from others:

(                                                 ) That would be telling, silly.

Sloth
What’s the laziest thing you ever did?

There was the time I woke up with warm urine soaked sheets clinging to me. My first thought was, ‘no need to get up and go to the can now, is there?’. As I rolled over and went back to sleep my last thought was, ‘Lord, I hope it’s my pee….. zzzz’. 

Go on now – tag someone and lie to me!!!

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4 comments

  1. These were marvelous. i really liked the gluttony one, for some reason… and I imagine sky is more satisfying than moose.


  2. LOL!! Loved Gluttony.

    Very creative, Norm 🙂

    About those drummers — I’m married to one and gave birth to another so, you know, be careful with those jokes. (Kidding! Joke away. I enjoy it.)


  3. @ Am – Thanks kiddo. Funny thing about sky is that it’s more filling than you might suppose it to be.


  4. @ Robin – Glad you liked these; I never know if I’m on the mark or not.
    I know a few jokes about how musicians feel about vocalist, too…… some of them are brutal but very funny.



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