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Looking Up

May 6, 2012

Long time no see and all that. Truth is I think I’m becoming a Facebook addict. Way too much time checking in there.

But anyway I thought I’d check in and provide a quicky update as to changes to frame of mind and such. Due to a combination of a variety of factors I seem to have improved – somewhat to quite alot; depending on the day. Contributing factors include but aren’t limited to: compliance with taking meds as directed; increased physical activity (almost none to regular, light exercise); seasonal changes; slightly increased opportunities for socializing; proactive mental attitude and self monitoring; regular check-ins with my MD.

One other major factor was that job competition – it gave me something to invest time in, in a positive way. The focus and prep and anticipation was key for a while there. And I handled the outcome – placing second – pretty well. Had a few crumby hours there but that’s to be expected. Gotta say it’s difficult suiting up and going back to my regular job most days since. 😦 But it pays some bills……

Lynda continues to go through periodic rough stretches in terms of dealing with Craig’s death. The second anniversary is coming up in another 7 weeks or so. It’s bloody torture for me in that I can’t assauge that grief or ‘make things better’ and go away like some bad nightmare. It also seems that she is reluctant to be proactive in dealing with her grief as it’s another way in which she feels she would be saying a final goodbye to him. She WANTS to hold on to him so she won’t consider counselling (group or one-on-one); or talk with other parents who have lost children via accidents or health conditions. Anyway, we have that coming down the pipe and I hope we can just quietly observe it this year without all his friends showing up and making a drunken circus out of it.

 

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4 comments

  1. I’ve been there. Twice. Nothing can be harder than to lose a child. My warmest thoughts go out to you.


  2. ah yes, facebook can be such a quick and easy connecting tool 😉

    Good to see you have some light and warmth around, literally and photographically. I know all too well the feeling of pulling bootstraps back up and trudging back to the old workplace. True warriors always win something though and the confirmation that you are on the right path is valuable.

    Sounds like you are about to navigate a challenging time on the homefront. How frustrating to see someone you love struggle so much. I wonder if a change of scenery, a geographical shift (even if just for a long weekend) might help shift something for her.

    May light and warmth prevail.


  3. Yes, I had thought of going away for a few days but funds are sadly lacking. Otherwise I try to live in the day and not anticipate too much. As always, thanks for the kind words.


  4. oldsunbird – much appreciated and welcome to unmerited gifts. warm thoughts back at you; times 2.



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