Archive for the ‘Addiction’ Category

h1

Unofficial: Summer is over

September 5, 2012

copyrighted... but borrowingMy mostly self-imposed summer blackout is over. I’m back; I’m better… maintenance dose of anti-depressants aside, I feel right with the world again. There will be opportunities to post again soon even as it has been busy times. Worked a 29 day stretch there where I was at work for a portion of all those days.

Out first few admissions were packing up today and leaving our care – 4 of them. Kinda sad but like mothers sending their kids off to the first day of school, excited to see them step out into their worlds again. We’ve don’t all we can; they have the tools and supports to continue their recovery as they see fit.

Lynda and I enjoyed her youngest brother Darryl’s wedding Saturday to his fiance Ria. Beauty weather, good crowd, music, & speeches… a little slow dancing. Couldn’t get g’son Owen off the dance floor. Good times.

Be back soon.

 

Advertisements
h1

29/07/2011

July 29, 2011

How’s that for a catchy title, huh?? A real eye-grabber.

What’s new…. hmmm…

Well, my grand-daughter Madison turned 3 the other day. If you didn’t catch this post on FaceBook here is the link to a photo session that her parents arranged: http://video214.com/play/O​5eCA4jJ7Y394cYFdiecSw/s/da​rk . Such a sweetie. I sent a message to my daughter-in-law Melissa saying I wish I could visit way more often so I could see the changes in Madison as she is growing. It is also less than a month before Melissa is due to deliver baby #2, ‘C’ section scheduled for Aug 25. They had some prego pics done as well, here: http://video214.com/play/DMyKs0m4wzgJVdj2360mUA/s/dark

Oh, glory-be!

Last week I marked off another successful year of ongoing sobriety through working the miracle which is the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I know I have thought this previously in this my twisted life’s journey but….. if I can stay sober through this past year I can survive anything. One day at a time and all that good stuff.

straight around

I’m glad I keep book review columns that I see in the newspaper otherwise I likely would have missed out on reading Rodney Crowell’s ‘Chinaberry Sidewalks’. I finished reading it last night and it was a terrific piece of memoir. He had me hooked from the first page and didn’t let up till it was all done. Highly recommended – 5 stars.

rush

Lynda and I enjoyed having g’son Owen with us for all of last week – he’s quite a character. We’ve also been getting out doing a few social things due to the fact that I have my weekends off (PTL). Tomorrow night we’re heading into Toronto for an evening with some of the folks I went through my Addiction Studies course with…. probably be a dozen or so of us. We haven’t done one of these get-togethers for a few years so it ought to be interesting.

 

lazing around at the flea market

Have a good weekend, folks. Time to get cleaned up for work tonight.

h1

State of Affairs

May 19, 2010

Shimmery When Wet

So…. thought I’d best check in here else folks’ll think I’ve gone AWOL or sumthin’. How am I? Well, somewhat better than I had been for quite awhile. Those last couple of months I was actively self-monitoring for signs of a return to clinical depression and some of the hallmarks were lurking about but seem to have been alieviated. Of course one of those signs is a lack of enjoyment or interest in things that you ordinarily DO enjoy partaking in… like blogging, for instance.

Truth be told I had considered (for a while there) deleting both blogs. One day last week I noticed someone had scanned some pages using ‘categories’ and when I began doing the same it illustrated to me that having written quite a lot here over the course of time I had made a significant investment here, touched on quite a variety of subjects, met a cool bunch of people and it’s all a source of joy for me.

Damn, just got interrupted with a call for work. Hmmmm…. Anyway, I had hoped to see cousin BJ tomorrow but that isn’t going to happen. See, our cousin G died and the graveside service is taking place in a town that is about equal distance for both of us. G is the first of our generation (well, who lived into adulthood) to depart this earth. G spent the last 30 or so years living in rooming houses, group homes, on the street, occasionally on psych wards,… you name it. G’s teenage experimentation with marijuana unleashed a latent schizophrenia that ruled the rest of his life. I didn’t know him at all well but feel for him and his parents just the same. God bless them all.

Lemme In - It's Wet Out Here

Tomorrow marks 6 years, 10 months sober for me. Monday will be 2,500 days. Just only sayin’ as it’s a fact and I’m not bragging mainly because drinking has crossed my mind on more than a few occasions during these last few months. Nothing like an educated alky to start rationalizing a return to drinking…. Sure, I can moderate, sure I can! Luckily I happened to be reviewing one of my pharmacology texts around that time and saw some stats in regard to what my chances were likely to be of being successful. A piddling 1 – 2% – I’m not that much of a gambler. So, I choose not to drink today.

Must go attend to some things – I’ll be back sooner than later. Ciao.

h1

Pithy, Pithier, Pithiest…..

January 20, 2010

…. or just plain pithed.

I’ve held out on posting to date in hopes the tides would turn and I’d have some positive news to share. Well, here it is January 20 and it is ‘same old, same old’. No news to share regarding the job search – same frustration. The financial stress has eased a little but the situation will quickly become problematic at any ‘sudden needs’ expense.

Mentally and emotionally I enjoy enough self-awareness to be acutely aware of where I’m at cognitively, mood-wise and attitude and perception-wise. At times it is downright scary where your mind can take you after a long period of unrelenting stress. Hypochondria?? Ever little ache, pain and twinge is the harbinger of some new life threatening illness. And looking in the mirror I can honestly say I’ve aged about five years in these last 10 weeks.

On the plus side – I have enough to eat; I have a warm home; I have a wife who loves and supports me; friends and associates who care about me.

Things of note: Yesterday I attended the follow-up meeting regarding funding for the mental health and addictions programming run through the local hospital and detox. Yahoo – their funding will stay intact through having creatively shuffled the finances. Had a quick word with the Director from there to let him know I’m still looking for work. (We keep running into one another at various functions so I’m on his radar.)

I regularly attend one hour seminars at the local Mental Health hospital that are put on for other area stakeholders re mental health and addiction. The topics are really varied and the presenters very good.

Last week was my girlfriend Audrey’s 90th birthday and I (we) was invited to a house party held in her honour on Saturday afternoon. When I get a picture or two I’ll post them here – she’s a sweetie.

Today marks 7 smoke free years for Lynda. I’m very happy for her and proud of her. Today is also exactly 6 1/2 years of sobriety for me – 2,376 days – one day at a time.

Sunday I chaired our monthly area A.A. executive meeting and it was the first time I felt I was on top of things and had done a good job of it. Progress, I tell ya…..

axaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxax

I wrote awhile ago about the season 2 premiere of ‘Spectacle’; must have been about 5 weeks ago now. A question?? What the hell were the programmers thinking by airing the premiere….. and then nothing week after week??? What was the point in that?? I’m all geared up and ready to go but they haven’t scheduled the follow up programs as yet. Makes absolutely no sense to me, at all.

azazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazaz

Such a contrast between last winter and this one. By this time last year I couldn’t shovel the snow from the driveway any higher; it was shoulder high. So far this season we haven’t accumulated any more than a couple of inches at a time and it has all eventually thawed, melted and disappeared. Last night we got a dusting but you can still see the grass. Incredible!! Loving it!!

Making tracks - Jan 6

 

goodbye crystals - hello lace curtain

h1

Dashing Off Notes

December 4, 2009

** We tied a 70 year old record for having a snowless November. Woo-Hoo! Colder weather is upon us and the white stuff could start any time now.

** Getting political – just sent a letter to several local and provincial politicians to protest planned cuts to funding for local mental health and addictions services. Per capita funding is way below average.

** My smoking quit is more a reduction for the time being – cut use by half. Not great but better. Yeah, yeah… I’ll get on it.

** I attended that meditation session back on Tuesday and enjoyed it; found it to be beneficial. I’m getting details on whose recording we were listening to and will share them later. Prior to – they had a labyrinth set up in an adjoining room and I walked it. It will be there once a month on the first Tuesday of the month. Similar design to ‘Chartres’ but a wee bit different. Walking palms down inward letting go; upward on the way back out receiving. A bit of self-care.

h1

The Basics

November 12, 2009
SSPX0436

ABC's of Life

This engraved stone was a table-top display at the funeral home where Terry’s viewing was held. I tracked down the text but wasn’t able to find who to attribute it to. Here ’tis:

Live With Intention

 Accept differences;  Be kind;  Count your blessings;

 Dream;  Express thanks;  Forgive;

 Give freely;  Harm no one;  Imagine more;

 Jettison anger;  Keep confidences;  Love truly;

 Master something;  Nurture hope;  Open your mind;

 Pack lightly;  Quell rumors;  Reciprocate;

 Seek wisdom; Touch hearts;  Understand;

 Value truth;  Win graciously;  Xeriscape;

 Yearn for peace; Zealously support a worthy cause.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I’ve been hunkered down trying to apply myself to searching for a job…. any job that brings an income. Objectively I know I’m mentally hyper active but at the same time I’m battling a seeming inertia – lots of confusion, wasted and mis-directed energy, dithering and stewing.

Mainly I’ve tried to impose order in life – little things. Get up at a certain time; ‘x’ amount of time to eat, have coffee and be cleaned up and ready for the day by ‘y’ hour. Have a plan for the day; vary the activities, accomplish little things.

My CV has been re-written into a couple of new formats stressing different things. There are a couple of leads to track down and get more information on today; calls to make. Tonight I intend to attend an a town hall meeting put on by an elected provincial MPP on the topic of Mental Health and Addiction. There might be contacts to be made there and perhaps I can make some noise about the closure of the centre.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thanks ‘out there’ for your acts of kindness and interest. Means a lot; really it does. I’ll be back soon.

h1

Guidelines

October 28, 2009

In the comment section of the previous post I made reference to the Serenity Prayer. Routinely, the first 4 lines from this ‘long version’ are recited to open A.A. meetings in this area (and many others). For anyone who isn’t familiar with it…. it helps keep me from sitting on the fence. By using this I’m better able to let go of things beyond my control and get on with the work on things I can influence the outcome of.

God grant me the SERENITY to
accept the things I cannot change;
COURAGE to change the things I can;
and WISDOM to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it:

Trusting that He will make all things
right if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen

This journey in recovery from alcoholism brought about  the process of redefining my identity and attaching once again to ethics, values and ‘humanness’. This prayer has played an important part in my attitudes to others; in being of service to others. The Prayer of St Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

 
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

 
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

What jumps out at you in this? What do you use for your personal guides? Care to share?

SSPX0420

autumn rushes