Archive for the ‘Addiction’ Category

h1

A Poetic Lyric

June 14, 2009

While I’ve never been a big fan of the older style country & western music, nor ‘new’ country, every once in a while I chance upon a song that grabs me. I have yet to hear this one performed but have heard it recited twice now; once again tonight so it was fresh on my mind. Both times it has elicited a ‘been there; done that’ response reminding me of past losses and times I don’t wish to revisit.

Hank Williams Sr, an alcoholic, died on New Years Day 1953 as the result of an accidental overdose of alcohol and morphine at the tender age of 29. He had already charted 11 #1 songs as well as a number of other top 10 hits.

Hank Williams – Men With Broken Hearts

You will meet many just like me upon life’s busy street,
with shoulders stooped and heads bowed low and eyes that stare in defeat.

Poor souls that live within the past where sorrow plays all parts,
for a living death is all that’s left for men with broken hearts.

You have no right to be the judge, to criticize and condemn.
Just think but for the grace of God it would be you instead of him.

One careless step, a thoughtless deed and then the misery starts
and to those who weep death comes cheap, these men with broken hearts.

Oh so humble you should be when they come passing by,
for its written that the greatest of men never get too big to cry.

Some lose faith in love and life when sorrow shoots her darts,
with hope all gone, they walk alone these men with broken hearts.

You’ve never walked in that man’s shoes or saw things through his eyes,
or stood and watched with helpless hands while the heart inside you dies.

Some were paupers, some were kings, some were masters of the arts,
but in their shame they’re all the same, these men with broken hearts.

Life sometimes can be so cruel that a heart will pray for death.
God why must these living dead know pain with every breath?

So help your brother along the road, no matter where he starts!
For the God that made you, made them too. These men with broken hearts!

h1

Tail Wags Dog

June 13, 2009

Ya know, it’s a given. I’m an alcoholic; albeit a recovering one…. (and I do continue to recover.) It’s very much an individually paced process and I like to think I get a little more fully recovered each day. One part of that process is gaining a measure of self-awareness, identifying defects of character and working toward correcting or eliminating them. It’s a battle, I tell you. And it’s a never-ending journey – focus on ideals and work toward them without the expectation of ever attaining the goal. Slow constant progression; that’s the deal.

I get myself into trouble every so often thinking it is beneficial to share my opinions or to offer advice even when those opinions and advice haven’t been solicited. However well intentioned it can sometimes be unwelcome. Most times reaction is good but there are times when I wonder whether I’ve thrown someone for a complete loop. What can I say? I’m a slave to being a ‘helper’; I care about people. That is what has wagged me tonight – trying to understand a situation and jumping in, tongue in full gear.

Just so we’re clear, if you ever feel you’re running short of opinions just give me a nudge and they will be spilling out all over the place. You needn’t even ask; they are yours for the taking.

Still working on that particular defect.

h1

Meanderings

June 12, 2009

xoxoxoxoxo

I haven’t written much this week cuz I’ve spent some time tweaking things here on the blog and making a few additions. The selection of tutorials that I pulled up and viewed for this version of WordPress were pretty limited I thought. Most of the material covered was stuff I had already figured out on my own. One thing I’m still a little confused about is the difference between the ‘Profile’ page and the ‘About’ page (as you’ll see if you click on my ‘About’ page – I copied and pasted that blurb from the profile page. It also took me a while to figure out how to display ‘About’ but finally finagled that one.

Other additions: 1) Well, because Lea Kelley has suspended her daily posts at ‘Lea Kelley Saying Thank You For…’ I decided to add a link to her fine art gallery page. Her usual link will stay up because it contains so much great writing and (I hope) someday she will decide to revive it.

2) I added another link category for ‘On-Line Listening’ which to begin with contains links for CBC Radio 2’s FM feed of live streaming audio – choose which feed you want by region at the right. Also, America’s NPR – National Public Radio. I’ve provided an entry point with their station list – right now I’m listening to 89.3 from St. Paul, MN. You can choose by city, state or music type. Through NPR I’ll be able to catch up on Garrison Keillor’s ‘A Prairie Home Companion’ show. I might add further links for a couple of local stations.

XOXOXOXOXO

 

I hadn’t dug out my art materials for a number of days but I did last night hoping to come up with something for Kel’s latest Art Attack Challenge over at xfacta. Unfortunately I’m having a little trouble getting used to working with oil pastels and wasn’t pleased with the outcome. Check Kel’s most recent post for her exciting news; she has self-published a book using ‘Blurb’ in regard to the building of their home ‘Anamrae’. The book is titled ‘Soulspace’.

xoxoxoxoxo

We’ve heard a couple of remarkable speakers at A.A. meetings we’ve attended this week. One of them, Dorathea who has 53 year sobriety, referred to something that was a staple in the early days of A.A., ‘The 4 Absolutes’ (which were an import from the ‘Oxford Group’ in England). They are: absolute honesty, absolute unselfishness, absolute love, & absolute purity. For more on them and relation to biblical texts see here. She related about having met Bill W. at the world conference in Toronto back in the 60’s and their ensuing discussion about recovery.

XOXOXOXOXO

These last couple of days have been a bit of a trial in that last night was one of those ones that didn’t seem to want to end; the hands on the clock were in slo-mo for sure. I got home exhausted, fell into bed and wound up oversleeping… having to rush around, clean myself up, eat and jump into the car for the ride back to work. Tonight is moving along much better, thank you very much.

One bit of good news last night was a call from my boss thanking me for some work I’d done with one of our clients the night before. Apparently the fellow told my boss that if we hadn’t talked he was ready to self-discharge and leave the program. “No problem John… all part of a days work around here.” He’s invited me to lunch one day next week for a gab session.

xoxoxoxoxo

This was sent by cousin BJ today from the daily readings of the Dalai Lama. I like what he has to say about remorse.

“Guilt as experienced in western culture, is connected with hopelessness and discouragement and is past oriented.

Genuine remorse however is a healthy state of mind – it is future oriented connected with hope, and causes us to act, to change.”

xoxoxoxo

That’s it; that’s all… unless you want to hear my friend John’s joke about the guy who invited his pet centipede out for a beer?!?!