Wherefore Art Thou Blogmaster Norm?

Another shot using the Paper Camera app on Lynda’s Android smartphone. I like using it….

So, very busy of late. Just through our Victoria Day long weekend. Saturday I cleaned house in prep for having our two sets of next door neighbours over for a going away party. Michelle & Keith have been living beside us for 8 or 9 years and decided to move west where they hoping for greater opportunities. They have distinctly different personalities but make a good couple. We’re especially going to miss their little boy Peter who is a frequent (constant) visitor. That evening went late around the firepit and setting off fireworks after a late dinner.

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater

Sunday I hitched a ride with sister Linda, her hubby Mike and our mom up to my late Uncle Art’s cottage so we could all gather and spread his ashes behind the cottage. That’s where his wife Amy’s ashes are so now they are resting together once again. My sis dropped me at Lynda’s Mom’s place up in L’s hometown and we carried on to Lynda’s brother’s place for a wonderful bbq steak dinner. Good to see Mother Mary looking well. Lynda hadn’t seen her for a couple of months and was overdue for some quality time with her. Late getting home but worth the journey.

Monday morning L & I dragged ourselves to ‘that job’ we do each weekend and once completed got into a bunch of yardwork at home. I cut both lawns in one shot (and lost 2 or 3 lb doing so) and we moved a bunch of stuff around so we could clean up some raggedy, weedy bits in the corners. I had time for a quick clean up before heading off to my homegroup A.A. meeting. It was the first time I had been back since I had a Monday night off back around Xmas. Renewed acquaintance with a bunch of folks I hadn’t seen for ages and talked a bit of group business with other members. The speaker was one I had heard before but her message is so positive I don’t tire of hearing it.

One issue taking up some headspace is that the mortgage on the townhouse is coming due. That means it is 5 years since Lynda and I broke up; 4 years since we reconciled. Honestly, still haven’t a clue as to what that was all about… but anyway. Having made a couple of calls regarding getting a new mortgage with a different broker it has caused me to draw back somewhat and look at my bigger picture. Am I happy with the status quo? Should I consider my other options? Are things here likely to change approaching satisfactory / ideal conditions?

As any regular reader here knows I’ve struggled somewhat with my mental state…. how much do I depend on my perceptions when it comes to big life issues like this?

Bulletin Board

Here’s the view beside our desktop computer in the basement. Lots of family shots including my parents, sibs, kids, g’kids and pets. Plus a few of my cultural / music heroes. Quite the conglomeration, eh? I see a couple of cousin BJ – she recently turned 65!!!! Hope to see her sometime this summer.

Anyway, that’s it for today… hope to be back sooner and stop ignoring this space. Peace, love and grooooviness, peeps!

Time Flies

Pretty soon I’m going to forget how to log in here if I don’t do it more often. Everything lately had been about the interview I attended yesterday – studying the job description and specifications; looking through my notebooks from college, searching the Ministry website and printing off applicable material, cramming, reading, studying. Now it’s over and I feel it went really well – that I have a solid shot at this job. I should find out next week.

The one nice break during the last week was driving Mom into the eastern Toronto suburbs to my Aunt Jane’s place to meet up with her remaining in-laws – my Dad’s sibs. A few of my cousins were there having brought their parents so it was good to catch up on their lives too. Here’s a shot of me showing Jane a shot I had taken of her. In back of me is Jane’s daughter Lynne; atop the cabinet is a photo of Lynne’s daughter Sarah from her wedding day; behind Jane is a stained glass shade that my father made.

Yup, time flies when you’re busy. Working later on today and lots lined up for the weekend. Have a good one, peeps!

Thanks Ma

Strange Fruit

Due to the generosity of my mom, Mabel, I’m heading west to visit my kids at the end of the month. First I’ll be staying with Sarah and Zeph in Vancouver for a few days. Then a quick hop over the Rockies to Calgary to meet my new grand-daughter Caitlyn & staying with Russ, Melissa and Madison.

Yeah, a couple of days after Caitlyn was born Mom said, ‘ You really ought to get on a plane and go meet her, you know.’ I just raised my open hands and shrugged… as in, ‘how is that to happen considering my bank balance?’ ‘Hell, I’ll send you; I’ll send you and Lynda, too.’ God, it’s nice to be related to someone who considers family connection to be so important. I’m honouring her offer and going while I can. Lynda won’t leave home and travel anymore so I’m going solo.

While in Vancouver I might try and hook up with an old friend I re-met recently via FaceBook. She was a server in a bar where I was a nightly regular when we were both in our early twenties. It would be good to get some face time and do some catching up over coffee or a meal. My friend is suffering in the mid to late stages of tick-borne Lyme Disease and any plans will have to be later on in the day. She says getting moving in the morning is the hardest thing she faces while waiting for her meds to begin to work.

It’s been a year since the kids and I were together – at Russ and Melissa’s wedding a year ago Labour Day weekend. Sarah and Zeph were there and of course the kids mom Vicki, my best ex-wife. A little earlier last summer Sarah had visited here for about a week on the occasion of my stepson Craig’s funeral. I’m really looking forward to checking out the changes in Zeph and Madison – at their young ages the changes over a year will be huge.

Late Bloomer

Once again, here it is Friday already and I’m glad it’s here. The strike action at my workplace continues and I’m finding that being around a bunch of anxious people for hours at a time is making me just as anxious as them. Osmosis-like. It’ll be nice tonight to see them all out of the building and have the place to myself. Conger up a zen moment or two with a big ‘OMmmm’.

Tomorrow Owen and his father are coming for an overnight visit…. woo-hoo! Now that the weather has cooled off maybe we can go for another of our walking adventures. Something to look forward to. Last time Owen was out Lynda asked him if he knew what that high-pitched sound was. ‘Oh, that’s a cicada.’ “And how do you know that?”, asked Lynda. ‘Pops told me when we were out walking. They only do that once it hits 80 degrees, you know Gramma.” Such a good kid; listens too.

a skywatch for Kel

Gotta go – adios. 

 

 

Olio

… a mixture of the good and bad rattling round my brain.

The Good: My daughter-in-law’s second ultrasound was conclusive; they’re having another girl. If they are very fortunate they’ll have a clone of their daughter Madison – one of the sweetest personalities on the planet.

The Bad: Early last week another of my cousins (and BJ’s) died. He had lived a solitary life for the last 25 or so years but had managed to manipulate and hurt his sibs and parents in so many ways it was sick. Strange not to feel much of anything but relief at someone’s passing but that’s the way it is. So long and hope your next life is healthier and fuller.

‘Big’ Picture Bad: Yesterday was Canada’s federal election and the outcome was definitely not to my liking. A majority Conservative government – very scary considering Prime Minister Harper’s modelling on George Bush’s policies and practices (which proved very unsuccessful). Corporate tax cuts; tough on crime; super-jails; militarization; cuts to social services to those who need that safety net most. The Liberal party fell flat and lost many seats. The Democrats had a surge and are now the official opposition (Yay!) and gained many seats. The Bloc in Quebec was disembowelled; leader resigned (Yay!); separatist bastards can go pee up a stump. The Green Party leader won the sole seat for that party in the House of Commons; good on Elizabeth May – a feisty broad whoops, I mean, lady.

More Good: The reason Lynda’s youngest son spent a few weeks here was because with his share of his inheritance he bought a chip truck… and had it here working on it and getting it in shape for the season. Yes Kel – along with french fries, burgers & sausages he is also serving poutine!!…and getting compliments on it, too. His first day in business was last Saturday and I hope and pray that it’s a continuing success for him.

The ‘So-So’: Weather!! Man, will it ever warm up and stop raining? We had 3X as much rain this April as last year – one storm system after another out of western Canada and the American midwest and gulf. I’d really like to ditch the long-john underwear but every time I try going without them I chill to the bone.

More Good: During this last week I’ve been getting reaquainted with a female friend from many years ago – when we were in our early and mid twenties. She was a server at a bar I was a regular at in downtown Toronto – Yorkville – T.O.’s version of Haight-Ashbury… tho these were the ‘disco days’; hippydom having passed. So it’s nice to catch up on lives and stories that diverged for so long.

More Bad: I’ve had a number of Dr appointments lately because, quite frankly, I think I’m getting old. I really haven’t felt well since I got sick on New Years Eve – it has been one thing after another and I’m sick & tired of being sick & tired. So, I’m being pro-active; seeing my MD; being compliant with his suggestions, etc. and even EXERCISING. (God help me) Monitoring mood and outlook for signs of a recurrence of chronic depression – gotta watch that – don’t want to go through another bout of that.

So, that’s it; that’s all for today. The good and bad of it. Choose to have a good day; it beats the hell out of the alternative. I am.

Sharin’ the Love

another gratuitous shot of me but a better one of Audrey.

Cindy's shot of Audrey and I

I can’t say enough good things about her; I’m so glad I met her and got to know her these past 5 years or so. Just last year she was an invited panelist at a multifaith conference in India. (I wish I had an audio file of her address.) She was kind enough to advise me during Lynda’s and my separation a couple of years ago and prayed for us on a regular basis. Audrey still is active in sponsoring women who are new to the fellowship of A.A.; is always in attendance at her home group meetings; actively participates in their business meetings; and is out in support of other groups 4 or 5 nights a week. I have yet to see Audrey dressed in slacks; she is always ‘properly’ attired in a dress or blouse and skirt; dress shoes and jewellery. Wise and articulate; patient and loving; warm, friendly and a ton of fun. She has a wicked sense of humour. Everyone should have at least one friend like her.

Peek-A-Boo

I’m coming up for air…. a little re-emergence today. Thought I’d do a bit of catching up here and maybe roam around the blogs a bit.

I see colour again

 Things have been looking pretty dark and dim for these last few weeks but I’m feeling a bit of a turn-around. It’s been a ‘good days – bad days’ scenario; trying to appreciate those spare good moments and so much as possible ignore or downplay the bad. A few points:

– although I’m still suffering with some chest congestion and coughing it seems my virus / chest infection is largely gone. I’m going to try another smoking quit and see if that doesn’t make the difference.

– Mother Mary has one major test behind her but will have to wait a couple of weeks for the next one and probably more waiting for the results. Lynda whipped up to spend the day with her on Sunday. The fear is that she has bone cancer and she is waiting on a biopsy. She has had a catscan.

– I attended that Town Hall meeting last Thursday night which was very interesting and had a wide range of presenters from various area agencies and institutions. I delivered my resume into the hands of the Director of Services of the local detox and mental health and addictions facility…. had a good 15 minute chat. I also met our regional Chief of Police and one of his officers who runs a youth engagement program. 

-Yesterday I got out of the house for a few hours to do some running around. (Lynda’s brother was here to look after the dogs.) I squeezed in an hour long visit with my Mom and got caught up on a bunch of family news. On my way to the door she pressed a cheque into my hand and told me it ought to keep the wolves from the door for a while. Wow, what would I do without you, Ma? My expenses are covered for about a month and that relieves a lot of uncertainty because I don’t know when my benefits will kick in.

crystals everywhere

99% of Lynda’s money goes toward keeping this house going and groceries in the cupboards. One evening she spied these sets of crystals on The Shopping Channel and couldn’t resisit ordering them. We used to have a short curtain across this window but now there are a dozen crystals draped across it which catch the morning sun. Well worth the money, I’d say. (and of course, one of these produced the spectrum of colour in the picture above.)

our big girl - Freedom

It has been six months since Freedom’s original surgery on her knee; 4 months since the second one. One of us is still with her 24/7 because she is still at risk of tearing it up with any quick, vigorous movement. Most days she moves pretty well but when she strains it, she feels it and starts gimping around not wanting to bear weight on that leg. I think she feels changes in the weather, too. I know I used to in the years following breaking my ankle. 

Would one of my posts be complete without a shot of the clouds?? I thought not! Here ’tis:

last evening at sunset

When I get a chance to read I’m into a new (posthumous) compilation of Kurt Vonnegut short stories. For music – I’ve borrowed a half dozen CD’s from the library which include a couple of Diana Krall’s recent releases. I’m in a piano sort of mood.

Thanks all for continuing to check in – that’s what life looks like these days.

 

A Quick Thanks

Your supportive messages mean a lot to me – Kel, Robin, Lea, SuzieQ, cousin BJ, ybonesy – and are much appreciated.

With Terry’s funeral over yesterday my focus shifts more completely to the job search. … and OH, I did the right thing back on Monday and saw my doctor – he prescribed a heavy-duty antibiotic. His major concern is that this illness has lasted for so long – it’s a month since it began as a minor cold. So far the antibiotic doesn’t appear to be doing anything so perhaps it’s viral not bacterial.

State of mind and time/opportunity will dictate when I’ll start back into regular posts once again. With some work and luck maybe I’ll have something more positive to report soon. I’m using my contacts to generate job leads and working overtime on the on-line posting sites. Truth be told I’m full of fear for the future and stressed to the max – sick and run-down. All in all not a good combination but I’m coping and working it ‘one day at a time’ – one thing at a time. Once again everyone – thanks for staying in touch. I feel the positive vibes radiating my way. Bless you all.

MIA Blog-iversary

What with all that has been going on lately I completely missed the anniversary of my start in blogging – which was back on October 20. It also wasn’t here on WordPress but over on Blospot. So, happy ‘3‘ to me. Here’s a link to those initial posts back at ‘The Only Constant Is Change’.

http://constantchangeisthenorm.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html

Many thanks to those of you who discovered me there or here and continue to tag along for the ride. There have been some terrific friendships forged and I appreciate each of you.

Signed, Me.

A Shadow of My Former Self

shadowy man on a shadowy planet

Aacchhoooo! To say I’m feeling kind of lousy would be an understatement. I shoulda listened when blog-friend Amuirin chastized me the other day HERE. This flu / cold started off very mild but appears to be picking up steam with each passing day and night. Maybe today was the nadir when I spent the afternoon sweating my butt off as I did some housework before cleaning up to come to work. There were a couple of times when I stood up too quickly from being bent over and everything went swimmingly greasy; vision-wise. Wooo…. hold ‘er Newt!! Hadn’t had a head-rush like that for 6+ years; y’all know what I mean. Unfortunately I don’t have the option of not working so here I am. C’est la vie; poor, poor me. Bring on the tea and sympathy. Looking forward to home and bed come morning.

nmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmn

On my way to work tonight I visited my friend Terry in hospital. (I was gloved, gowned and masked; sanitized.) His prognosis isn’t good but he seems to be responding to his radiation treatment. His cancer has moved into his bones and he has a mass in the discs at the base of his neck. Apparently the tumour was applying pressure to his spinal column and that is why his larynx was affected causing him to sound like he had laryngitis – the signals from his brain were getting scrambled on the way to his voice box. Back on Saturday night one of my fellow group members brought Terry from hospital to the A.A. meeting we were attending. It was a 10 year medallion presentation and Terry had been asked to take part. I was shocked when he was wheeled in at the last minute and then hauled himself up to the podium to do a reading. He took the opportunity to essentially say good-bye to the many there who knew him. He tore a few hearts out in doing so but he got to say his piece. Tonight he was looking better; better pallor; more energy; lucid. I’m glad I went despite the fact I was sick. No one seems to know how this is going to pan out or how much time he might have left. This series of radiation treatments wraps up this week and there will be a 2 week lag before they can determine what beneficial effect the treatment wrought. God love him; I do.

The Happy Couple

Regina & Glen

I’ve said a bit in previous posts and comments about the wedding and so, won’t blather on a lot but thought I’d share a shot of the two of them in the minutes following their exchange of vows. I’m glad we went; glad they had such a beautiful day to celebrate the nuptials; happy that they enjoyed themselves.

gift of time

I wish them a long and happy life together.