Yadda, yadda, yahoo

So, all these months later I start on Monday doing what I was hired to do… daily program presentation and individual counseling. These have been interesting times (since July) building relationships for the centre with the area’s 12 Step groups and their service arms. Personally it has been advantageous getting re-acquainted with lots of folks I hadn’t seen in a long time, plus meeting lots of newcomers to the program who have arrived in the interim. Plus, PLUS, I’ll be able to participate at my home group on a regular basis and actually contribute after a long hiatus and very spotty attendance. Woot-woot!

Here at the centre we’re pleased with how everything is shaping up organization-wise and program content. We’re having major successes with some complex cases; poly-substance and major mental illness mixes. As for staff… heh, heh… we try to put principles before personalities and work toward the common good of our clients.

While those things are all good and fine what it really boils down to NOW is being able to get into a solid routine with Lynda on the homefront. She has been very patient and abiding as this is a new start-up business but she could use some quality one on one time…. and I’m looking forward to that too. I miss my honey.

Although it is still months away I find I’m looking forward to celebrating 10 years clean and sober…. and thinking about all the people who have contributed to my sobriety; both inside and outside the ‘rooms’. As for outside; some of those folks are right here online. Others, people I attended college with when I studied for my Addictions diploma. Still others are close family and friends who have leant their support during trying times.

During this period of re-adjustment I’ll be trying to catch up on some much needed rest and establish a good working structure for mind, body and spirit. That and take time to count my blessings. I’m a happy guy. Ciao for now.

Be The Light….

… which serves to illuminate for others.

Time rushes by with little time for self reflection. Lynda and I have a couple of hours a day through the week when she has done her workday, and prior to me leaving the house for mine. We cook together or alternate and enjoy the meal and catch-up time. Weekends I work days so I’m back for dinner and the evening. Tomorrow night we’re planning an evening around the firepit, possibly with our next door neighbours. Chillin’ on a chilly evening bundled up next to a nice blaze.

I think I’m up around 35 days without a day off…. some days I’m exhausted and don’t know how I’ll cope with our clients. (They can be a pretty demanding bunch.) But then the energy reserve kicks in and cope I do. It really is all about them while they are in our care. Five months in and we’re pleased with how things are going… good success rate; a few slips or relapses. I’m assured by my manager that I will be working a straight day shift gig within a couple of weeks. Just checked the sobriety calculator and this alky is 3,407 consecutive days clean and sober. Working with new people seeking recovery helps keep me that way.

Lynda’s youngest son has closed his chip truck for the season and moved back in with us a couple of months ago so that is a bit of a blessing. Less running around getting his supplies and other errands. He has just hooked up with a g’friend for the first time in years so that ought to keep him occupied. 😉

I plan to revamp this page soon and get rid of some dead links; get back into the swing and renew contact with some folks. I’ve been occupied on Facebook and once in a while post on Twitter. Making a few new & cool friends there. Will try to spend more time here soon. Ciao for now.

Unofficial: Summer is over

My mostly self-imposed summer blackout is over. I’m back; I’m better… maintenance dose of anti-depressants aside, I feel right with the world again. There will be opportunities to post again soon even as it has been busy times. Worked a 29 day stretch there where I was at work for a portion of all those days.

Out first few admissions were packing up today and leaving our care – 4 of them. Kinda sad but like mothers sending their kids off to the first day of school, excited to see them step out into their worlds again. We’ve don’t all we can; they have the tools and supports to continue their recovery as they see fit.

Lynda and I enjoyed her youngest brother Darryl’s wedding Saturday to his fiance Ria. Beauty weather, good crowd, music, & speeches… a little slow dancing. Couldn’t get g’son Owen off the dance floor. Good times.

Be back soon.

 

Cashing In My Karma

So, for the benefit of anyone who doesn’t know the story… I worked for alcohol & drug treatment centre for a little over 5 years. They laid us off for ‘6 months’ when they decided to do some much needed renovations. They didn’t have their ducks in a row where it came to the various funding agencies so it became a massive screw up and much delayed. Oh, at the time we, the staff were laid off, they made an enormous mistake in firing our Manager and forcing him into an early retirement mode. I wound up taking a stop-gap job making SOME dough – not a job of choice but the shifts were a good fit. John (ex-manager), had kept his hand in at a few different facilities, dry-houses, drop-in centres; longer Tx centres.

So,… heres the meat of the story.

Via contacts he had made at those centres and talks with a variety people his name had been put forward to head the programming and admin for a brand new local Treatment centre. Over a few days they had discussions and he was onboard. He’s been quietly compiling material for our in-house presentation for these last few weeks. Here’s the good part – he called and asked if I would be a ‘day-oner’ and come help him to open the centre and work for him as a counsellor. My initial reaction was “WOO-HOO!!” and “HELL YEAH:. Then we talked money for a bit and about program content. Tuesday we talked agian – the financial backer of the opperation had their $’s offer; somewhat ower than my hopes or expectations. So, John is presenting my counter offer. Whatever – I’ll have a job back in my field once again 2 and three quarters of a year later.

I hope to hear back from him come morning about the response to my counter-offer and a start date as I have to give notice where I’m currently working. So, the 5 years of work and daily dropping my karma chip in their satin bag is finally paying off.

While we face a couple of grave days this week, which we have appropriate plans for, I’m quietly celebrating this significant personal victory. Praise be! Fulfilling work once again – yee-haw!

Many thanks for all your goodwishes, positive vibes, prayer and encouragement. *My Rocks; My Sirens*

LINK: http://newawakenings.ca/ will be my new workplace / home.

 

29/07/2011

How’s that for a catchy title, huh?? A real eye-grabber.

What’s new…. hmmm…

Well, my grand-daughter Madison turned 3 the other day. If you didn’t catch this post on FaceBook here is the link to a photo session that her parents arranged: http://video214.com/play/O​5eCA4jJ7Y394cYFdiecSw/s/da​rk . Such a sweetie. I sent a message to my daughter-in-law Melissa saying I wish I could visit way more often so I could see the changes in Madison as she is growing. It is also less than a month before Melissa is due to deliver baby #2, ‘C’ section scheduled for Aug 25. They had some prego pics done as well, here: http://video214.com/play/DMyKs0m4wzgJVdj2360mUA/s/dark

Oh, glory-be!

Last week I marked off another successful year of ongoing sobriety through working the miracle which is the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I know I have thought this previously in this my twisted life’s journey but….. if I can stay sober through this past year I can survive anything. One day at a time and all that good stuff.

straight around

I’m glad I keep book review columns that I see in the newspaper otherwise I likely would have missed out on reading Rodney Crowell’s ‘Chinaberry Sidewalks’. I finished reading it last night and it was a terrific piece of memoir. He had me hooked from the first page and didn’t let up till it was all done. Highly recommended – 5 stars.

rush

Lynda and I enjoyed having g’son Owen with us for all of last week – he’s quite a character. We’ve also been getting out doing a few social things due to the fact that I have my weekends off (PTL). Tomorrow night we’re heading into Toronto for an evening with some of the folks I went through my Addiction Studies course with…. probably be a dozen or so of us. We haven’t done one of these get-togethers for a few years so it ought to be interesting.

 

lazing around at the flea market

Have a good weekend, folks. Time to get cleaned up for work tonight.

Pithy, Pithier, Pithiest…..

…. or just plain pithed.

I’ve held out on posting to date in hopes the tides would turn and I’d have some positive news to share. Well, here it is January 20 and it is ‘same old, same old’. No news to share regarding the job search – same frustration. The financial stress has eased a little but the situation will quickly become problematic at any ‘sudden needs’ expense.

Mentally and emotionally I enjoy enough self-awareness to be acutely aware of where I’m at cognitively, mood-wise and attitude and perception-wise. At times it is downright scary where your mind can take you after a long period of unrelenting stress. Hypochondria?? Ever little ache, pain and twinge is the harbinger of some new life threatening illness. And looking in the mirror I can honestly say I’ve aged about five years in these last 10 weeks.

On the plus side – I have enough to eat; I have a warm home; I have a wife who loves and supports me; friends and associates who care about me.

Things of note: Yesterday I attended the follow-up meeting regarding funding for the mental health and addictions programming run through the local hospital and detox. Yahoo – their funding will stay intact through having creatively shuffled the finances. Had a quick word with the Director from there to let him know I’m still looking for work. (We keep running into one another at various functions so I’m on his radar.)

I regularly attend one hour seminars at the local Mental Health hospital that are put on for other area stakeholders re mental health and addiction. The topics are really varied and the presenters very good.

Last week was my girlfriend Audrey’s 90th birthday and I (we) was invited to a house party held in her honour on Saturday afternoon. When I get a picture or two I’ll post them here – she’s a sweetie.

Today marks 7 smoke free years for Lynda. I’m very happy for her and proud of her. Today is also exactly 6 1/2 years of sobriety for me – 2,376 days – one day at a time.

Sunday I chaired our monthly area A.A. executive meeting and it was the first time I felt I was on top of things and had done a good job of it. Progress, I tell ya…..

axaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxax

I wrote awhile ago about the season 2 premiere of ‘Spectacle’; must have been about 5 weeks ago now. A question?? What the hell were the programmers thinking by airing the premiere….. and then nothing week after week??? What was the point in that?? I’m all geared up and ready to go but they haven’t scheduled the follow up programs as yet. Makes absolutely no sense to me, at all.

azazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazaz

Such a contrast between last winter and this one. By this time last year I couldn’t shovel the snow from the driveway any higher; it was shoulder high. So far this season we haven’t accumulated any more than a couple of inches at a time and it has all eventually thawed, melted and disappeared. Last night we got a dusting but you can still see the grass. Incredible!! Loving it!!

Making tracks - Jan 6

 

goodbye crystals - hello lace curtain

Bwaahh-hah-hah

Hardy Pansies

Surprised!! That was me when I had a look at the front page of the local paper on Friday night only to find my picture there. I attended that funding meeting last Tuesday regarding the addiction and mental health services progamming that is on the chopping block. This isn’t the same photo that ran in the paper but I’m in this one as well over on the right side.

http://newsdurhamregion.com/article/141533

A little while ago I was out walking Freedom around the block and our postman stopped me for a chat. ‘Hey, you’re famous!! I saw you in the paper!’ I filled him in a bit about the issues at stake. I imagine I’ll take a bit of ribbing at my A.A. meeting tonight.

Weather update – There is light snow falling outside; first of the season.

Yesterday Lynda and I were invited to her brothers place for dinner up in Lynda’s home town. On the way there we stopped to see Mother Mary for a couple of hours. She’s looking rough, weary and is feeling pretty bitchy – not like her at all. This morning is her biopsy so we’re hoping having that out of the way and some answers forthcoming she’ll be in a better frame of mind and feel better physically. Oh, dinner and the company was good. I’ve been housebound way too much lately. Really nice to get out and about for a change of scenery.

Special for Kel - Canada Geese

Dashing Off Notes

** We tied a 70 year old record for having a snowless November. Woo-Hoo! Colder weather is upon us and the white stuff could start any time now.

** Getting political – just sent a letter to several local and provincial politicians to protest planned cuts to funding for local mental health and addictions services. Per capita funding is way below average.

** My smoking quit is more a reduction for the time being – cut use by half. Not great but better. Yeah, yeah… I’ll get on it.

** I attended that meditation session back on Tuesday and enjoyed it; found it to be beneficial. I’m getting details on whose recording we were listening to and will share them later. Prior to – they had a labyrinth set up in an adjoining room and I walked it. It will be there once a month on the first Tuesday of the month. Similar design to ‘Chartres’ but a wee bit different. Walking palms down inward letting go; upward on the way back out receiving. A bit of self-care.

The Basics

ABC's of Life

This engraved stone was a table-top display at the funeral home where Terry’s viewing was held. I tracked down the text but wasn’t able to find who to attribute it to. Here ’tis:

Live With Intention

 Accept differences;  Be kind;  Count your blessings;

 Dream;  Express thanks;  Forgive;

 Give freely;  Harm no one;  Imagine more;

 Jettison anger;  Keep confidences;  Love truly;

 Master something;  Nurture hope;  Open your mind;

 Pack lightly;  Quell rumors;  Reciprocate;

 Seek wisdom; Touch hearts;  Understand;

 Value truth;  Win graciously;  Xeriscape;

 Yearn for peace; Zealously support a worthy cause.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I’ve been hunkered down trying to apply myself to searching for a job…. any job that brings an income. Objectively I know I’m mentally hyper active but at the same time I’m battling a seeming inertia – lots of confusion, wasted and mis-directed energy, dithering and stewing.

Mainly I’ve tried to impose order in life – little things. Get up at a certain time; ‘x’ amount of time to eat, have coffee and be cleaned up and ready for the day by ‘y’ hour. Have a plan for the day; vary the activities, accomplish little things.

My CV has been re-written into a couple of new formats stressing different things. There are a couple of leads to track down and get more information on today; calls to make. Tonight I intend to attend an a town hall meeting put on by an elected provincial MPP on the topic of Mental Health and Addiction. There might be contacts to be made there and perhaps I can make some noise about the closure of the centre.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thanks ‘out there’ for your acts of kindness and interest. Means a lot; really it does. I’ll be back soon.

Guidelines

In the comment section of the previous post I made reference to the Serenity Prayer. Routinely, the first 4 lines from this ‘long version’ are recited to open A.A. meetings in this area (and many others). For anyone who isn’t familiar with it…. it helps keep me from sitting on the fence. By using this I’m better able to let go of things beyond my control and get on with the work on things I can influence the outcome of.

God grant me the SERENITY to
accept the things I cannot change;
COURAGE to change the things I can;
and WISDOM to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it:

Trusting that He will make all things
right if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen

This journey in recovery from alcoholism brought about  the process of redefining my identity and attaching once again to ethics, values and ‘humanness’. This prayer has played an important part in my attitudes to others; in being of service to others. The Prayer of St Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

 
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

 
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

What jumps out at you in this? What do you use for your personal guides? Care to share?

autumn rushes