Yadda, yadda, yahoo

So, all these months later I start on Monday doing what I was hired to do… daily program presentation and individual counseling. These have been interesting times (since July) building relationships for the centre with the area’s 12 Step groups and their service arms. Personally it has been advantageous getting re-acquainted with lots of folks I hadn’t seen in a long time, plus meeting lots of newcomers to the program who have arrived in the interim. Plus, PLUS, I’ll be able to participate at my home group on a regular basis and actually contribute after a long hiatus and very spotty attendance. Woot-woot!

Here at the centre we’re pleased with how everything is shaping up organization-wise and program content. We’re having major successes with some complex cases; poly-substance and major mental illness mixes. As for staff… heh, heh… we try to put principles before personalities and work toward the common good of our clients.

While those things are all good and fine what it really boils down to NOW is being able to get into a solid routine with Lynda on the homefront. She has been very patient and abiding as this is a new start-up business but she could use some quality one on one time…. and I’m looking forward to that too. I miss my honey.

Although it is still months away I find I’m looking forward to celebrating 10 years clean and sober…. and thinking about all the people who have contributed to my sobriety; both inside and outside the ‘rooms’. As for outside; some of those folks are right here online. Others, people I attended college with when I studied for my Addictions diploma. Still others are close family and friends who have leant their support during trying times.

During this period of re-adjustment I’ll be trying to catch up on some much needed rest and establish a good working structure for mind, body and spirit. That and take time to count my blessings. I’m a happy guy. Ciao for now.

Be The Light….

… which serves to illuminate for others.

Time rushes by with little time for self reflection. Lynda and I have a couple of hours a day through the week when she has done her workday, and prior to me leaving the house for mine. We cook together or alternate and enjoy the meal and catch-up time. Weekends I work days so I’m back for dinner and the evening. Tomorrow night we’re planning an evening around the firepit, possibly with our next door neighbours. Chillin’ on a chilly evening bundled up next to a nice blaze.

I think I’m up around 35 days without a day off…. some days I’m exhausted and don’t know how I’ll cope with our clients. (They can be a pretty demanding bunch.) But then the energy reserve kicks in and cope I do. It really is all about them while they are in our care. Five months in and we’re pleased with how things are going… good success rate; a few slips or relapses. I’m assured by my manager that I will be working a straight day shift gig within a couple of weeks. Just checked the sobriety calculator and this alky is 3,407 consecutive days clean and sober. Working with new people seeking recovery helps keep me that way.

Lynda’s youngest son has closed his chip truck for the season and moved back in with us a couple of months ago so that is a bit of a blessing. Less running around getting his supplies and other errands. He has just hooked up with a g’friend for the first time in years so that ought to keep him occupied. 😉

I plan to revamp this page soon and get rid of some dead links; get back into the swing and renew contact with some folks. I’ve been occupied on Facebook and once in a while post on Twitter. Making a few new & cool friends there. Will try to spend more time here soon. Ciao for now.

All The News

a little ha, ha moment b’cuz there isn’t much to share. I’m still working daily so life is pretty much all to do with work and stealing moments with Lynda here and there. Plus, I came down with a garden variety virus last week which has left me feeling pretty crappy and seeking the comfort of my bed. I’ve just come in from another hour of raking leaves and that bit of exercise leaves a good feeling in my arm & shoulder muscles and a relaxed mind.

Last evening was a special sort of night… one of the owners of the rehab I work at was celebrating the 2nd annniversary of his getting clean from cocaine at his C.A. homegroup in Toronto. So, off we all went – 10 house residents; Erick and I… plus a couple of our house volunteers and a couple of our recently completed clients. We went out afterward to enjoy an hour of fellowship at Boston Pizza – conversation, food and bevvies. Good to see Erick’s father and sister in attendance in support of him. It made for a later night and longer shift but well worth it.

Oh, my car broke down as I was leaving for work Friday evening so I wasn’t able to get it towed in until yesterday (Monday). They looked at it this morning, gave me a price and hope to have it for me tomorrow. This is the one time it is advantageous working opposing shifts with Lynda – we’ve been able to share her big-ass pick-up truck.

I’m trying to include a recent picture of Lynnie here that I really like but I cn’t tell if it will upload or not. Hopefully it does when I hit ‘publish’.

Unofficial: Summer is over

My mostly self-imposed summer blackout is over. I’m back; I’m better… maintenance dose of anti-depressants aside, I feel right with the world again. There will be opportunities to post again soon even as it has been busy times. Worked a 29 day stretch there where I was at work for a portion of all those days.

Out first few admissions were packing up today and leaving our care – 4 of them. Kinda sad but like mothers sending their kids off to the first day of school, excited to see them step out into their worlds again. We’ve don’t all we can; they have the tools and supports to continue their recovery as they see fit.

Lynda and I enjoyed her youngest brother Darryl’s wedding Saturday to his fiance Ria. Beauty weather, good crowd, music, & speeches… a little slow dancing. Couldn’t get g’son Owen off the dance floor. Good times.

Be back soon.

 

Busy Weekend Coming Up

Tonight we’re expecting Owen and his father to arrive for the weekend. O’s Mom will be working at a festival all weekend so they figured it’d be just as well to be here. Good! We don’t see them often enough.

This also the weekend that’s Lynda’s friend brings her troop of Brownies to camp in the yard so we’ll have 4 or 5 tents spread around.

Add to that squeezing in ‘that job’ we do each weekend for a few hours.

Plus, a surprise 50th b’day party for one of Lynda’s sisters up in their hometown Saturday night.

Much as I want to get this evenings shift done and out of the way I might have to return to work Monday for a rest. Ah well, best for me to be occupied and social when I have the opportunity to be.

Here’s a gratitous profile shot that Lynda took of me while driving her big-ass truck.

Jeez, look at all those lines!

Hope you all have a refreshing, interesting weekend! See you on the flip-side.

Reflections

Yes, on what I wrote last week…… saying I was looking at the bigger picture. Over the weekend and today I’ve been ruminating on the BIGGER picture and trying to get out of my own head a bit…. considering the fundamentals not the economics and conflicting b.s.

Loyalty, love, commitment, perseverance, unity, honour.

Now I feel a little ashamed of myself for having thought otherwise.

http://youtu.be/l99pFxUXsPQ

don’t look directly at the sun

One of these days I’ll get it right; one day at a time.

 

Wherefore Art Thou Blogmaster Norm?

Another shot using the Paper Camera app on Lynda’s Android smartphone. I like using it….

So, very busy of late. Just through our Victoria Day long weekend. Saturday I cleaned house in prep for having our two sets of next door neighbours over for a going away party. Michelle & Keith have been living beside us for 8 or 9 years and decided to move west where they hoping for greater opportunities. They have distinctly different personalities but make a good couple. We’re especially going to miss their little boy Peter who is a frequent (constant) visitor. That evening went late around the firepit and setting off fireworks after a late dinner.

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater

Sunday I hitched a ride with sister Linda, her hubby Mike and our mom up to my late Uncle Art’s cottage so we could all gather and spread his ashes behind the cottage. That’s where his wife Amy’s ashes are so now they are resting together once again. My sis dropped me at Lynda’s Mom’s place up in L’s hometown and we carried on to Lynda’s brother’s place for a wonderful bbq steak dinner. Good to see Mother Mary looking well. Lynda hadn’t seen her for a couple of months and was overdue for some quality time with her. Late getting home but worth the journey.

Monday morning L & I dragged ourselves to ‘that job’ we do each weekend and once completed got into a bunch of yardwork at home. I cut both lawns in one shot (and lost 2 or 3 lb doing so) and we moved a bunch of stuff around so we could clean up some raggedy, weedy bits in the corners. I had time for a quick clean up before heading off to my homegroup A.A. meeting. It was the first time I had been back since I had a Monday night off back around Xmas. Renewed acquaintance with a bunch of folks I hadn’t seen for ages and talked a bit of group business with other members. The speaker was one I had heard before but her message is so positive I don’t tire of hearing it.

One issue taking up some headspace is that the mortgage on the townhouse is coming due. That means it is 5 years since Lynda and I broke up; 4 years since we reconciled. Honestly, still haven’t a clue as to what that was all about… but anyway. Having made a couple of calls regarding getting a new mortgage with a different broker it has caused me to draw back somewhat and look at my bigger picture. Am I happy with the status quo? Should I consider my other options? Are things here likely to change approaching satisfactory / ideal conditions?

As any regular reader here knows I’ve struggled somewhat with my mental state…. how much do I depend on my perceptions when it comes to big life issues like this?

Bulletin Board

Here’s the view beside our desktop computer in the basement. Lots of family shots including my parents, sibs, kids, g’kids and pets. Plus a few of my cultural / music heroes. Quite the conglomeration, eh? I see a couple of cousin BJ – she recently turned 65!!!! Hope to see her sometime this summer.

Anyway, that’s it for today… hope to be back sooner and stop ignoring this space. Peace, love and grooooviness, peeps!

Looking Up

Long time no see and all that. Truth is I think I’m becoming a Facebook addict. Way too much time checking in there.

But anyway I thought I’d check in and provide a quicky update as to changes to frame of mind and such. Due to a combination of a variety of factors I seem to have improved – somewhat to quite alot; depending on the day. Contributing factors include but aren’t limited to: compliance with taking meds as directed; increased physical activity (almost none to regular, light exercise); seasonal changes; slightly increased opportunities for socializing; proactive mental attitude and self monitoring; regular check-ins with my MD.

One other major factor was that job competition – it gave me something to invest time in, in a positive way. The focus and prep and anticipation was key for a while there. And I handled the outcome – placing second – pretty well. Had a few crumby hours there but that’s to be expected. Gotta say it’s difficult suiting up and going back to my regular job most days since. 😦 But it pays some bills……

Lynda continues to go through periodic rough stretches in terms of dealing with Craig’s death. The second anniversary is coming up in another 7 weeks or so. It’s bloody torture for me in that I can’t assauge that grief or ‘make things better’ and go away like some bad nightmare. It also seems that she is reluctant to be proactive in dealing with her grief as it’s another way in which she feels she would be saying a final goodbye to him. She WANTS to hold on to him so she won’t consider counselling (group or one-on-one); or talk with other parents who have lost children via accidents or health conditions. Anyway, we have that coming down the pipe and I hope we can just quietly observe it this year without all his friends showing up and making a drunken circus out of it.

 

Where To?

So, where to indeed. While I’m glad to have shared with you folks about this recent setback into another bout of depression, and your messages of support are important too me…. I don’t think I’m going to dwell on it here as it wouldn’t be very entertaining reading, now would it? On that subject I may update with a quick note from time to time but that’ll be it.

I was supposed to have my annual physical this morning but my Dr called in sick. That was the fourth time it had been rescheduled – now I’m getting paranoid instead….. ha, ha, ha. So, next week it is, I hope.

Lynda and I enjoyed a good weekend with her eldest son and young Owen. Two trips to the flea market, two trips to the bakery, one to Toys ‘R Us. Busy, busy. Here he is wearing a mask he found at the toy store.

Take THAT you villain!

It’s back to work in another couple of hours. I’m hoping to get at least one more post up before the end of the month. Don’t get to post on Feb 29 very often, do we?

Walking The Lakeshore

Having some time to fill I headed down to the beachfront for some fresh air and sunshine.

To the east

It didn’t take long for the camera / phone to come out and start snapping away.

To the west

It seemed funny to be in such a large park and it be practically deserted. I passed a few folks out for a brisk walk and a couple of dog-walkers but they were sparse. Mostly stacked picnic tables, leafless trees and empty walkways.

Due south

Good to relax, stretch the legs and powerwalk into the wind.

Rivulet in the sand (my fave)

I like the last picture because the water is transparent at this angle but really brings out the tonal range in the sand. Just a wee spring coming out of an embankment and making its way into the lake.

What’s new, hmmmm….?? well, we didn’t have an Xmas tree so we paid a visit to the Evil Empire (aka Walmart) and picked up a decent sized one along with a bunch of new ornaments. We spent a couple of hours around dinner time Saturday assembling the beast and adorning it. Good times. Then lolling about watching a seasonal movie – sort of paying half attention to it – and admiring the tree, decorations and lights. More good times…. and early to bed.

Mom got moved in with younger sis Linda on Saturday. I managed to stay out of this move as bro-in-law Mike had lots of help; younger, stronger help. We dropped over Sunday for our first look at the place and they’ve found a nice spot. I think they’ll all be happy there.

Light Wash

 Things to do, places to go, people to see……. later!